Herman Cain’s Democrat Love Machine

Hermie… I call you that because you take that ridiculous Rovian cue and call us Democrat, rather than Democrats or Democratic… You say that there is a “Democrat machine” out to break you? Perish the thought! We really want you to run in the general election.

Keith Olbermann said he’d give you money. Heck, lots of Democrats would. The first presidential race with two black candidates vying for the oval office? It would be historic!

With your 9-9-9 plan that penalizes the poor, your ambiguous stand on abortion and your obviously sterling character, we can’t think of a challenger that we would like to see face off against Barack Obama more!

To that end, we’ve composed you a song of appreciation…

I..I..I’m just a Democrat machine,
and I don’t want no Republican but you,

I..I..I’m just a Democrat machine …
Nothing but Herman Cain will do…

I think it’s high time you knew
Whenever I think of you
My mind blows a fuse

When I look in your eyes
My blood pressure starts to rise
When I hear ’bout the gals you abuse
My motor cranked electric goes

Listening to your lies
About grabbing her thighs
Please say you won’t go

We want you to thrive
Because we all know
Obama will eat you alive.

Go the Distance, Hermie. Ease his (Obama’s) pain.

My shiny two.

About Brian Ross

Brian Ross is a writer, screenwriter, political satirist, documentarian, filmmaker and chef. Ad hoc, ad loc, quid pro quo... so little time. So much to know!

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